Anyone that has come through childhood trauma has triggers. Period. You may think you are not triggered, but you just don’t know how to recognize them.
What is a trigger?
A trigger can be anything that sparks a memory of a trauma, or a part of a trauma.
When you encounter a trigger, memories and thoughts associated with the trauma come back without warning. You cannot stop the intrusive thoughts, and in response, you feel a turn in your emotions and begin to react.
A trigger might make you feel helpless, panicked, unsafe, and overwhelmed with emotion. You might feel the same things that you felt at the time of the trauma, as though you were reliving the event.From PyschCentral
Wait, emotions? Trauma victims don’t like emotions — unless they are using them to manipulate.
Seems to me that unresolved hurt from the past is what creates prisons in our souls today.
The first thing I want to do when I am triggered is get as far away from everybody as possible. No person is safe. No room is safe. Nothing feels safe.
The other night I woke to a woman’s scream that I interpreted as a murder happening. My mind was putting together the scene of a bloodied woman needing our help. My husband jumped up to see what was happening.
Our youngest daughter had just been bitten in her ear by her dog. It was a terrible sight.
It set my soul ablaze in memory.
Today, I do my best to get through triggers. The process looks a little cleaner today but it is no less terrifying. I was up all night. The next day my soul beckoned me to remember that I wasn’t safe. My mind wanted me to return to the murder and explore it — for safety.
There is no safety in that exploration. I had to take the time to ice my soul back to a place of calm. Oh, a murder indeed it holds — but that was a long time ago. I am safe now.
It is in these times that I cling to a great big God. My anchor is in heaven.