Times of Turmoil

No one walks this earth without turmoil — God himself included.

It is part of the human condition. Sometimes hanging over us like a dripping rain cloud. Sometimes disturbing our peace. Sometimes striking a balance of what things need to be left behind.

Challenging me often is my inability to make peace with the people in my past. It would be my great desire to bake for them, giving gifts of my love to them — walking beside them in their own pain and turmoil. But, it just can’t be so for me.

You can’t bring hell along with you on a journey towards the light. It just doesn’t work.

The love I need can be found no where sifting through the piles of pain behind me. It’s an interesting concept that all I need is before me — not behind me. What my parents created in me was need not fulfillment.

No definitions of love were shown to me through my childhood. That makes tragedy ahead of me if I bring my past into my future.

I’m not going to be making that mistake again — I hope.

Turmoil subsides when I realize I don’t really know the definition of many things as they “should be.”

Maybe I don’t need all the answers?

One thing is becoming profoundly clear to me — it is not my job to fix the ones that damaged me.

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