Graves Give Gifts

Mourning is something our society ignores. Rarely is it given the attention or time that it deserves.

Grief has a surprisingly warm outcome. By allowing it freedom it can scatter your pain and allow you to get on with life.

Somewhere society has told us — wrongly, that if you are healed, you do not suffer. I believe healing does not come without suffering. If you don’t grieve for the things that were ripped from you, how did you acknowledge them?

Watching a life be taken right in front of me left a horizontal scar right through the middle of me. My nights were tormented and my days were frozen as a kid. There was no grief then, only survival. And, survive I did.

That’s not living.

When I learned to tell my story and grieve my losses, they began to lift from me. Today, when I’m faced with agony from the lack of justice or yet another betrayal in real time — I stop. I guard that space and allow it time — time to mourn.

Suffering is what brings us through to the other side. It validates what we lived through. It shares goodwill with our scars by highlighting them.

It’s only after we grieve, that we can lay down a wrong. The strong scar tissue that remains now in the place of loss will bring us through. As a result, we are stronger now than we were then.

The burial ground of the murdered woman.

The woman that lays beneath the soil in this picture will never have the chance to grieve or suffer.

Don’t you think she would have rather stayed alive to grieve her loss?

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