Forgiveness is a concept that I believe gets misinterpreted. Forgiveness does not mean that you allow bad behavior to continue in your life. Forgiveness does not mean that you now insist that your abusers continue in your life.
When the events of mistreatment happen at the hands of another person, please be very careful not to be misguided through forgiveness.
Forgiveness does not mean you must have the abuser in relationship with you. To me, it means the very opposite. I am free when I forgive them. Free to choose as I please. Free to choose I see fit. They no longer have a voice of choice in my life.
If someone was raped, who would tell them that they must forgive and then build a relationship with the person that raped them?
Does that even sound reasonable?
It really doesn’t sound reasonable. But, that is just what “Christians” do when they demand that you forgive, forget and embrace the family that tried to slay you.
I just do not believe that is God’s way.
I have forgiven. What I don’t allow through that forgiveness is more abuse. If I were to try to stay close to the family I came through it would be constant turmoil. Oil and water. Paul wrote two-thirds of the New Testament. His words in Romans speak the truth, “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Those words, “As far as it depends on you,” are life changing. Those words help create boundaries that need to exist. When you want to return to forgive, do so with the capacity of remembering that peace must lead the way. Peace must stay at the forefront. When there is no peace, you must not stay.
Your peace is one of the strongest weapons God gives us to create safety in our lives. You want to sore like an eagle?
Keep the wind of peace strongly in place and the talons of the abusers cannot grip you.
Don’t let the enemy steal your joy through this holiday season. If there is no peace in your family, you do not have to sit at their table.