On this journey I’ve had to cast the courage to care so many times. I’ve wanted to quit, give up, stay with inappropriate people and just stop caring.
The more I cared, the more I had to work at discovering the hidden evils around me.
I remember telling Redmond, my counselor of many years, “Can I just stop now?” His response was always the same, “It’s too late for you now, Jodie. You’ve done too much work. You can’t go back.”
I couldn’t go back? Wait, what?
I kind of wanted to from time to time. Denial would quench my thirst to hide.
I remembered the rules of seeing no evil, hearing no evil, and speaking no evil and I was breaking them all.
My father came to me in a metaphorical dream last night. In my dream, I wanted him sexually (which was never the case but he wanted me to believe that). I was in his house still and cleaning something up. He was dead in my dream, but came back to life – or so it seemed, came around the corner and was angry. He was holding me accountable for telling his story. I felt his rush of anger attack me.
I boldly said, “In the name of Jesus, stop.”
In my dream, he vanished.
Discouragement echoes along side the path of healing. Don’t be alarmed when it shows up and tells you that you aren’t really winning.
Silence it’s voice. Speak to it and remind discouragement how far you’ve really come. Remind yourself and the voice that would entangle your growth, how much you’ve already come through.
Speak to discouragement strongly when it comes and shout to it, “I won’t be staying long!”