A rolling stone gathers no moss is an old proverb, credited to Publilius Syrus. A common modern meaning is that a person must stay active to avoid stagnation.
Sometimes my heart questions my inability to make peace with my abusers. I hear stories of restoration from some through forgiveness and love. I believe these stories to be true.
It hasn’t been the case for me.
Does that mean I’m doing something wrong? If I am a God fearing woman, shouldn’t my story end with redemption and restoration of my entire family?
I think for that to be true for everyone, everyone would have to want a God that redeems. I just don’t see that being the case and I don’t think it’s biblical. Not all people have a desire to know God. Jesus certainly redeems, but you first have to want him.
The question in my heart then beats, “Would God keep me close to abusive, nasty people?” I just don’t believe that’s true, for me.
Forgive, that’s really not been that hard for me. Seeing these abusers up close and personal, I’ve felt the destruction that lives within them. I can see they are burdened and bear a silent prison within their trapped souls. They’re not free, so it hasn’t been hard for me to let them go through a forgiveness of leaving the burden of redemption at the foot of the cross.
My freedom and story bloomed when I moved away from these sick, twisted individuals. I actually stayed in the form of a prison cell when I had them in my life. It was for me God’s direction to move away from them.
I want to be a good person. What I learn on this journey is that only God is good. My job is to let more of Him in my life, and move myself out of the way. He is much better at managing my life than I am.
He alone holds the secrets to the kingdom of love. It’s this kingdom that I belong to. Not kingdoms of disgrace, mayhem and murder.
When I walked with my family, I collected so much moss I couldn’t hear, perceive or heal.
My stone will continue to roll!