Maybe the most wicked piece to childhood trauma is the judgment of the innocent.
You open your mouth to tell the secret and you receive condemnation – not from God, but man. “Don’t tell,” is the conviction of the world. “We don’t want to hear you,” they continue. “Keep that ugliness hidden.”
These unconscious judgments happen every day to victims trying to set their story free.
God does not condemn us for sharing our stories. Rather, He speaks a bold voice and tells us to carry on with seeking them and finding the truth.
When I looked into the tunnel that would lead me to my past, I was scared. Scared to enter into the darkness by bringing with me my new found light. What I did NOT need was someone’s judgment!
In the beginning, it seemed everywhere I turned I was shut down on one level or another. I returned to my family far too often seeking for their help and input. That was not good judgment on my part, but I’d always hoped they’d want out of the deception, too.
For me the difference in my healing started when I found an advocate who heard me. One that didn’t judge me and one that not only understood my pain, walked with me with deep understanding through it. A good counselor can mean the difference between life and death. My counselor and I not only explored and found the wounds, we broke them open together to relieve the built up toxins they left in my being.
I’d heal those open wounds spending time at home with a God who cared for me deeply. I had good friends that I spent my time with, too, but it was a loving God that brought the healing balm I needed.
It’s not enough to just find the pain, you have to be guided through it, open it up exposing the damage and then find a way to heal it.
All this while bystanders are snarking their judgments that we are possibly lying, that we’ve made up our stories for attention. I hear it all too often from survivors trying to tell their story so they can walk out into freedom.
The cry of the brokenhearted needs no judgment. What they need is a loving ear. Someone who can stand by them while they heal.
For all those naysayers, I remember this old parable. When you point your finger in judgment at another person, you have three fingers pointing back at yourself.
God would say to let His people go – released from your judgment, so they can begin their healing.