Both of my parents exercised their power in cruel and unloving ways. What’s more, is I had no power to change it. Not then. Not now.
As a little girl I did my very best to do what pleased them. I kept a smile on my face when we were around people. I invested large amounts of my time denying who they were. At all costs to myself, I towed the line of being an obedient child.
Tyranny is designed to limit the freedom of those under its control. I see time and time again this desire of abused children to stay under this regime. A system designed to keep you ensnared to it.
Isn’t incest the death of good in a child? Doesn’t it leach life from the victim’s being?
When my father called to me as a child to tend to his diabetic needs, I had to attend to him. When I began my walk into adulthood, I did not go to his call. Not any more. Why would I?
It was a struggle to walk away from him – clean. His tyrannical lead had taught me better than that.
But, did I want to be tormented until my death? If I continued to walk beside him, isn’t that what it might look like?
This is a picture of me with my maternal grandmother. My father raped her and did other things none of us will ever know. I know this because the night before he died he confessed and said to me, “I did terrible, terrible things to your grandmother. Terrible things.”
Who are these people? Deeper still – why do we struggle with angst to leave them?
This should not be.
Forgiveness should keep distance between you and your abuser. Lack of forgiveness may keep you closer to them than you realize.