The Nuts or Sluts defense has been used for years in many women’s cases. Famously quoted by Woody Harrelson playing the attorney Bill White in North Country, he explains how this defense is often used to make a judge think that a woman is either crazy and made it up or that she’s a slut and asked for it.
There is a price to pay for opening your mouth against an abusive family. They’ll make sure of it.
When the Major Crime Unit Detective showed up to interview my mom and sister about the homicide in 1968, they produced a file to him. Through the years they had built some kind of case against me. They wanted to show I was both a nut and a slut. I’ve never seen that file, but was told about it.
I drew this picture five months after the murder. That’s my father’s handwriting (and he spells my middle name wrong): drawn by Jodie Lynn, age 4, For her dad 11/24/68. My father had saved it and gave it to me in my 30s as a representation of my indentured love to him as a child. Little did he know he had saved the truth.
The detective who was working my case took it to a few experts who confirmed that the picture clearly depicted a child who had been sexually abused. The detective told my mother that he believed that I had been abused.
I did not know that at the end of this battle there would be no one standing with me from my family of origin. I falsely believed when my body forced me into recovery, that I not only fought for myself, I fought for the other members of my family. My truth would pave the way for them to follow the light.
Not even close to how this riddle played out.
Abusers are better at lying than most victims are at telling the truth. They vehemently deny any association with wrong doing. Their pride leads their strong defense and their noble character shines on display. It’s actually quite pathetic to watch.
Only spectators may believe their performance.
The more they led a parade of false witnesses against me, the more my body, spirit and soul protected my right to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God.
This is such a powerful and heartbreaking piece. I want you to know that you’re such a brave lady to continue to stand in your truth despite being demonized by your family. I cannot imagine how painful it is to have the people who are supposed to love and protect you turn on you. Keep speaking you truth and telling your story. No doubt that it will help others who endure or have endured the same thing you did. Wishing you many blessings.
Thank you! That’s my life’s work now. To find those who have struggled and shine some light to help them find their way through the darkness. Xoxoxo
That’s awesome, Jodie! The best healing is to take what you’ve been through and use it to help others. It’s what I do with the catastrophic bullying I suffered in school and it has helped me to heal and find closure.
<3 <3
Abusers are better at lying than most victims are at telling the truth. They vehemently deny any association with wrong doing. Very true