C-PTSD ~The Cost of Childhood Trauma

I turned 56 this July. My daughter bought me a book titled, The Complex PTDS Workbook, A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control & Becoming Whole by Arielle Schwartz, PhD. Another to add to my vast collection of recovery books like Judith Herman’s book Trauma and Recovery and the greatest book to hit the shelves, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk.

From the book, “Let’s look at why some people may be more susceptible to developing an adverse reaction to trauma than others:

. . .

“Children are most susceptible to the impact of such stressors during critical growth periods, such as the first three years of life when the nervous system is extremely fragile. . ..”

The Complex PTSD Workbook, Page 22

What a beautiful gift from my oldest daughter. Another flashlight to illuminate my gruesome start. It rang so true I had no choice but to reflect on those words. Haunting is a limited explanation of what it feels like to experience rape and murder when your soul is just preparing to burst forth its life. It is a strangulation of your identity. The manipulation to self that occurs is not easily undone.

Do you know what I believe magic is?

Telling our stories one to another. Setting each other free and sharing our burdens by spilling onto pages the words that have hindered our growth. Sharing our love that enables us to carry on.

“Crafting pain into power as well as transforming empty cabinets into bountiful meals. Your love erased pain like magic and slid forgiveness in its place with some slight of hand I still can’t figure out. I love you beyond measure.”

Handwritten message from my daughter in my birthday card accompanying this gift.

That is magic.